hell yes lets make some ravioli
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
