Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
