i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
