the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
