just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
