when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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