you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
