so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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