I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize