Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
