At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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