Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
