Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
