Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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