we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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