I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The beer is more important than you right now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
