just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
