I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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