I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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