respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
In America we eat man semen.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
