omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
