We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Too much dab too little lung dying π΅π΅π΅
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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