since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
