I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
