Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
