So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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