i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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