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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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