I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
