the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
