Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
