hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I need to stop coming to work sober
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
