You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
