Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize