Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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