I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
