I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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