On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
