I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Can you repeat that, but with context?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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