You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
