While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
