I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
