We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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