Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
