can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
