Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
