So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
