and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
