I want to have your abortion
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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