Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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