So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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