your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
