I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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