im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
