Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
