Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
