not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
