"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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