Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
